Recipe and Reminiscence

First a disclaimer - this post is not a recipe, but a trip on the memory lane about recipe.

And why not? For most of the times food reminds me of something, it awakens memories from long past. It could be someone from whom I have learned a recipe; it could be about a day when I cooked a dish for someone special!

For example, cabbage rice!  I learnt the recipe from a friend with whom—sadly—I have lost contacts. But for sure this rice dish reminds me of those days when it was just the two of us. This is one of those recipes which I used to love because they are easy and quick. So after a long day’s work, coming home and realizing that I have nothing in the fridge for dinner, I would not have the gumption to do up an elaborate dish – this dish came to the rescue. This humble dish got me started and interested in South Indian rice dishes (there are many). Born and raised in the eastern part of India, rice, to me, only meant "Sada Bhaat" (plain rice) or “Polau” (Pilaf). So doing something different with rice was novel, even exciting! Now whenever I cook Cabbage Rice, those golden days in Bangalore come crowding in my mind: how I slowly became a "Bangolrian", how I became a die-hearted fan of "Pongol," "Masala-dosa," and "Filter-Coffee"and much more!

Once we were returning from Kolkata and the moment we landed in Bangalore I strangely felt I was "back home." I am sure I did not love Kolkata any less, but Bangalore grew on me – familiarity breeds love and attachment, I guess. The city that gave me an opportunity of earning my own bread curry, the city where I experienced for the  first time how it feels to work in the “corporate” world, the city where I found a handful of dear friends who, I am sure, will reside  in my heart for ever... the city that is Bangalore!

Sometimes some dishes, like one very well-known Bengali dish "begun-tomato" (eggplant in tomato Gravy) reminds me of Maa's cooking not just the taste! But also, her process of cooking, her kitchen, her "Kadais" (skillet), her spice jars, the sound of ladle on the skillet, the aroma of the steam off the skillet! The other day as I was preparing Begun-Tomato—her way, I remembered her. She used to have two different Kadais, one of those was "Niraamish" ( for vegetarian cooking only) and the other was for "Aamish" (non-vegetarian). In the "Niramish" one she would never cook dishes that had any animal product—of course, even the stuff that are associated with Aamish cooking such as onion or garlic... and "Begun-Tomato" falls under the "Niraamish" category.

The other day, I did not have much time to cook and I was tired after a long day. When I opened my fridge and saw a "begun" (eggplant) and a couple of tomatoes, my mind travelled way back to my middle school days. I always wanted her to teach me cooking and she would to tell me "Sekhanor kichu nei, somoi hole nijei sikhe jabi, pawre toh kartei hobe"  (nothing to teach, when the time comes, you will learn automatically; one day cooking will become part of your routine). I was sometimes persistent in my “bainaa” (demand) to learn. One day as she was cooking "begun-tomato," she told me "eta bheeshon shoja" (this is very easy), you can start your training with this one! So she described to me how she did it.... Well I don’t remember all her instructions today (or, maybe I do and the memory is now in deep psyche and I forgot where it came from).. Now I do it my way (perhaps my way is also her way). All that it means is that I understood now the basics of cooking and a few steps and thought and improvisations have become natural and, perhaps, instincts.

When I think of Maa’s separate "kadai" for "Niramish", I also remember "Bapon" (my grandma -- dad's mom) because she insisted on Maa to keep a “Niramish” Kadai. In Bengal (and many parts of India) widows are forbidden to eat (read "touch") anything non-vegetarian that includes - Onion, Garlic, Moshur daal (red lentils)!

I have so much of Bapon's memory, as I was the "Bapon's girl" all the way! One bit of memory I am sure to stay with me all my life is making "noodles" for her. Well, I am not sure if I can say "for her,", as I have prepared noodles "for her" after she passed away. This is a ritual: after a loved one passes away, the family members prepare some of his or her favorite dishes place them outside the house for him or her. Bapon was very fond of noodles. Now every time I cook noodles, my eyes start watering. I miss you "Bapon!" Hmmm…no, I am not going to end this with a sad note. I always want to remember Bapon with a smile for she taught me to smile, she also taught me how to pray, how to keep faith on Almighty when in crisis and many other life-lessons that we all learn one way or the other. For me it was easy: I had my Bapon.

Sometimes I feel that the Bengali festivals have lost all its charm for me. This is probably because all festivities in my memory have many parts. I remember the maid who cleaned the house, the boy who delivered the newspaper every morning and how they all shared the same mood of festivity along with us. It was as though the whole atmosphere around me—the flowers, the birds, the sky and the air around me knew it was the festival time! It was so special. Of course, being from Bengal, if I talk about festivals I must mention “Durga Pujo” Many Indians may know that Durga Pujo is a 5-day festival, but few know that a whole month was full of so many other smaller festivals and rituals—from Laxmi Pujo, Kali Pujo to Bhaiphonta! One of my favorites was "Bhai-Phonta" (Bhai-Duj) – a festival celebrating sister-brother bond.

Whenever I reminisce about very special occasions at home, I remember "Bhai-Phonta" and I remember “Lotta maach er jhal” (Bombay-duck fish curry) and shutki (dry fish) made especially for that day by Pimani (aunt - dad's sister). That day Maa, Sonama (another paternal side aunt – kaakima in Bengali, chaachi in Hindi), Mishtima (another kaakima) used to get time off from Kitchen. Pimani took over and did all the cooking of all special dishes for her brothers. We don’t get lotta fish here; but we do get shutki and whenever I make shutki I remember Bhai-Phonta day lunch. I can close my eyes and see all of us having lunch together at the big dining table…If I could I might trade all my tomorrows for one single yesterday like this one……

This list is never ending, I remember Sonama’s  special seddho-bhat ( plain rice & vegetables boiled together), which she would cook on Fridays after her Sontoshima Pujo (one Goddess of many), I remember Didua’s (grand-mom; mom’s mom) mawtor daal seddho (yellow split lentil boiled).,I say “plain” and “boiled,” but strangely no one (including my mom) can make exactly like the way Sonama made her special seddho bhaat and Didua made her mawtor daal.

 Well, someone said it right: “you can go to other places, you can live on the other side of the world but you can never leave home!”